There will be Tears…and then Nothing!

“When we’re willing to let
go of how we thought things had to be, we’re often better able to create how we
really want them to be.” Lori Deschene

you ever been going about your day only to be ensnared by the 
formidable foe
that is the door knob? I am sure this happens to us all at least three times a
day. An area of your fabric makes the sole decision to make love to this door
knob thus rendering you slightly stuck yet overly irritated. You can’t “simply”
yank your clothing because this inanimate object holds its ground and will inevitably
take a piece of it. Strange isn’t it…strange that this door knob (incapable of
human emotion) is almost fighting to maintain its hold on your clothing and inadvertently
is a year of letting go…it has been a recurrent theme in most of my writings
and I am sure most have grown weary of it. But what can I say, letting go is
the equivalent of washing your own hair. You get shampoo in your eyes and
instead of finishing the task at hand you spend all your time trying to undo
this little accident whilst fighting the fear that you might end up blind at
the end of it all. What I’m trying to say is: IT’S MESSY AS FUCK!
I discovered that letting go can be easy when it’s a two way street. A mutual
agreement between two people coming to terms with the fact that they can no
longer exist in each other’s worlds. As an idea, yes…but as an entity: NO! I have
had some like this. We leave each other void of negative emotions. Yes, you cry…and
then you forget (only because you must.) and life moves on. But then there are
times when I don’t let go. When I am convinced that we can work things out even
when we are at a point of no return. I become a door knob…pulling at clothes
and making people stay when they really have no care to do so. But I have taken
my beatings and licked my wounds. I know when I need to be a door knob and when
I need not be.
to say, the shoe has been on the other foot. I have been a victim of the door
knob trap. And my experience lives true to the metaphor at hand. These people
are unaware that they are door knobs to me. Almost incapable of understanding
what they are doing to me. They hold on to me even when they have no real
desire to keep me around. They do so because…it is natural. But we defy nature
day in and out. We must defy it once again. At this point you have two options.
Option A requires that we go under the
knife and rid ourselves of the parts that these door knobs hold onto. Under this
option you almost never leave with your fabric intact. You pull with all your
energy and end up ripping pieces of you away. They stay with this piece of you.
Here letting go means letting go of these pieces in order to let go of the
person. However much of a struggle it does appear to be, in reality it is the
easy was because essentially it means running away.
Option B is the hard way. Here you
stop and untangle yourself from the door knob. When I was younger I took on the
decision to start growing my hair. In my little 10 year old mind it simply
meant no more visits to the barber. What it really meant was nappy hair that
would induce my head to a 10 minute pain session every morning and night; what
you all ordinarily know to be “combing hair.” But my grandmother ensured I passed
a comb through these not so fine curls every day so it would grow to be
luscious and goldilocks worthy. This is what it means to disentangle oneself
from people. To slowly grab the pieces of you they are holding and unwind till
they peacefully let go. It takes years, this one. To the point that you are
worn out at the end of it all, pleading for divine intervention screaming “what
are we fighting for?” Okay not as dramatic as that.

And so I reiterate my
statement, “2012 is a year of letting go!” So we ask, “How?”
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1 Comment

  • Reply evelyn karungi November 5, 2012 at 7:36 am

    I understand letting go is so hard, but I think there comes a time in one's life where compromising is not an option. You either rip off the bandaid or stay the same. It's not selfish to want happiness, and quite frankly if it's not building you, then trim trim trim it off. If it's worth the door knob theory power through and fight for those kind of relationships. But the ones that wear you out, those have got to go, 2013 should be a light year. 🙂

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