The Matryoshka Doll.

the layers…are more layers. But underneath it all is a final layer; the one
that defines the vessel. Does that mean that the other layers mean nothing?
that they exist separately? A faux existence, maybe? No…they are the different
colours that the psychedelic core reflects. At heart, we are all volatile
souls. Some are fortunate enough to align themselves with one colour pattern.
so much that stripping away the layers reveals more; different shades of the
same colour, essentially. And then there’s me. neurotic, capricious and till recently;
ineffable, thus negating any previous attempt to define my being. Is that okay?
Nay, am I okay?

who fights with monsters should look to it that he himself does not become a
monster. And when you gaze long into an abyss the abyss also gazes into you.”
 –Friedrich Nietzsche
road less travelled is memory lane…a truth that is paradoxically revealed by
the future and the present. I found strangers on this road. I could not
recognise any of the characters posing as myself. I gazed upon them as if they
were past lives that they (“I”) had lived so unequivocally that remnants of
these memories failed to evoke nostalgia or fondness. These diverging paths
that were created every time I made or failed to make a decision had all been
concluded. Is that good or bad? Am I not the master of my own fate? Shouldn’t I
be congratulated with the highest of honours for objectively severing the ties
to the crutch we call the past? Or is this version the poser? Have I lost
myself in “finding” that I am unaware of what I am losing? I cannot run away
from this. I am shedding layers to find my “core.” By suppressing these
versions of myself, I have single handedly aided the self deception that bars
me from self actualisation. I must accept and reconcile the past as mine; to
take responsibility for actions, words and emotions that embody the past. And
only then can I sever the pieces that nolonger fit. I am on a journey to find
the pieces that are worthy of the future; backtracking in the sea of my
subconscious to rescue myself!

Previous Post Next Post

You Might Also Like

No Comments

Leave a Reply