Psychological Warfare.

“We always see our worst selves. Our most vulnerable selves. We need someone else to get close enough to tell us we’re wrong. Someone we trust.”
― David Levithan

My weaknesses are more pronounced than my strengths. I have always been the sickly one, the forgetful one…the underestimated one. For me, mistakes usually come hand in hand with more mistakes. We are humans…what we are is synonymous with greatness; ultimately not wholly! So we forget. Most forget that to be human, also means flaws. My greatest flaw stems from that which is forgotten by most; my greatest flaw is Complacency. To accept one’s flaws is ideal. However, to assimilate the filth to your existence is, at heart, a blind waiver of your divine essence…of your greatness!

This week I was not number one. My best intentions, in what felt like every aspect, could easily be equated to nothing! At best, I was second. “I should be okay with this…after all, my load is greater than most.” Should I, really? The people that have known (and loved) me longest have grown blind to my weaknesses. It’s that whole getting used to the fact that your friend has a lazy eye that when someone else brings it up you need a minute to recollect that tiny fact. I am grateful for it…the problem is in reality, they grew tired of my shit. Can I blame them? But I’ve grown tired of it too. All they see…are the possibilities. They expect so much because I am capable of it. I can’t always choose to be number two just because that spot came so easily in the past. To be so close to success AND failure simultaneously. I never know how to say I want something. To say “I want you”, “I want to be number one!” But today, I DID!
At the end of the day, the greatest advantage to being underestimated, is that they never see you coming!

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  • Reply evelyn karungi November 13, 2012 at 12:45 pm

    Weirdly enough I love being underestimated…that way when you pounce, everybody is surprised…let others be blind to what you can do but NEVER underestimate yourself.:-) "But today, I DID!" yayness, good for you

  • Reply Nora Kirabo November 13, 2012 at 11:01 pm

    Exactly…."never underestimate yourself"

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