Of Innate Desires.

Affinity, noun: “a
spontaneous or natural liking or sympathy for someone or something.”

think of lovers in two dimensions. The people who walk into your life and
everything feels new. It is as if they are from a foreign land and are here to
teach you a new language. I know nothing of these people. The ones I know of
are the people you kiss for the first time and it feels familiar. The way they
know to touch your nape and trace their finger tips from there to the beginning
of your clavicle and then to your shoulder. The way they know your Achilles
heel before you blog about it. The way they know you are your father’s
favourite from the way you say hello when he calls. Or from the way they know
with the first hello that they will bring you pain one day.

as human beings, are drawn to the familiar and therein lies the problem.
1. Because familiar is tied with a longing for forever. What you don’t
understand is familiar is also temporary. A paradox of sort, it is temporary
because familiar won’t make her stay. But once you taste familiar the memories
are tied to your existence forever. The way you will always remember your
mother’s cooking years after she is gone.

Because in this dimension, time is not linear. “When” he walks into your life
is not important. Whether you’re 20 or 25, it will always feel the same. If he
can walk in for the first time and heartbeats skip in tandem with his stride
then he can leave and drift in whenever he so desires. It will always feel the
same. The hand, now filled with experiences garnered away from you, will still
feel the same.

Everything about this kind of love is disastrous. The optimist in me sees its merit as
love and the cynic sees the makings of disaster.

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