It’s Complicated!

“You’re in here, my
Whether you know it or
You dwell still,
behind these walls,
In a heart whose beat
Even you couldn’t stop.
You live under lids
And nail-beds,
Bits of you running
Veins, a painful
You’re in here, my
Whether you want to
be… or not.” – Anonymous

Of late the world
has been trying to convince me that youth should represent a world void of
certainty. Because I am young, I should not know black or white but simply
revel in grey. And although I do, I do not attribute my affinity for the
lukewarm state to youth. I am drawn to chaos. And i can never seem to make
sense of anything, let alone you. I have no idea why you have such power over
me and I don’t think I want to know. I like knowing that when I am around you
my knees will be weak even when you’re wearing those grey baggy shorts I want
to set ablaze. The way I want to set your heart ablaze. I want you to fall
hopelessly in love with me. But what will i do with you then? If we’re not
complicated, fighting each other off, then what are we? You are more than a
title to me and I’ll never say your name out loud. I’ll whisper it to you when
your soul is buried within mine so, in some insane way, you can believe what I
am saying to you. It’s you, you and only you. And although I can’t have you,
you will always be a reminder of everything good that couldn’t help but leave
me broken.
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