Self Image

Emotions…written in cursive.

She is the definition of art.
Therefore, she cannot make mistakes.

Man abandons emotions, ideas and
other strands of his inner being when he fails to adequately bring them forth
to the world; art is the means. We are all artists…the dead shells that attempt
to deny this, are simply artists that hide from the light. Essentially all art
is light; it illuminates what we burrow in the dark. Even the dark art has an
element of light; for where there is darkness, there must be light and vice
versa. I rather expel my darkness using art than to let it consume me as I
write about rainbows and lilies. But it’s never that easy. Sometimes the
darkness takes hold of the words not the other way around as it should be. That’s
when words cut.
How can I show the necessity of
art in society without showing what words mean to me? What do words mean to
you? Beyond the literal…I want to show you the literary.
“something of no value or importance”
I am afraid of this word. It
embodies most of my fears. The fear of meaning nothing to people that mean the
world to me. The fear of you meaning nothing to me when I, not only mean, but
exist as your world. What makes me even more afraid is that these aren’t your
run-of-the-mill irrational fears; they are inevitable! I’m a bit of a hoarder;
simply because if it meant something to me before, logic says I must keep it
around to be respectful; even when it no longer has value in my life. And like
an old handbag collecting dust; never carried or acknowledged, such is the same
with people. But this year I embarked on a “letting go” scheme and I learnt two
things. Firstly just because you are letting go of something, doesn’t mean it
no longer means something to you and neither does it negate the truth that it
meant something before. And secondly; it seems incomprehensible but sometimes
we need to let go of people not for our own needs, but selflessly doing so to
let the person move on. Sometimes “nothing” is the necessary start point to
rebuild and in general; start afresh!
“to express in words”
I don’t know how to communicate. A
ludicrous statemement coming from a writer. But I am passive aggressive. So
usually I say things through a text, a tweet or my blog (duh!) My soul is this
impossible mixture of colours; a volatile existence. Words are a reflection of
my soul. But somehow I am incapable of telling a friend that their words are
condescending and I could do without them. How do I say things without coming off
as a judgmental bitch, not to mention; hypocritical?
I can always tell I really like
someone from my constant desire (read as need) to say something to them. I
appreciate silence but even within the silence I need to remind the person they
cross my mind. Sadly, I can also tell that I have no more room for someone in
my life when I have nothing to say to them. At the end of the day I don’t know
how to differentiate between the things I need to say and the ones that are
better left unsaid. Maybe “goodbye” is more practical than “I need you” or
“please stay.”
Blind: “Unable or unwilling to
perceive or understand”
I am surrounded by people so
afraid of being human. Can I blame them, though? We have been taught that being
human is to be weak, to be imperfect. But to me; being human means having the
ability to feel. I do not refute the need to exercise caution in all our
emotional endeavours. What I want to see is a breed of people so unafraid to
love, to cry, to scream; to FEEL! To me; being blind means the intentional
refusal to give into these things. I know no moderation. I cannot speak of such
things with authority but I know I regret nothing I did out of passion. I
always found it sad when people woke up one morning and declared that they had
shut their eyes for a moment and opened them to a world where they had “fallen”
in love. The most beautiful bits of love are the little steps that build up to
that mountain peak!
I revel in the knowledge that
seemingly “basic” or “small” words are the pivot of souls, minds and hearts.
Their effect is so great that they cease to be mere words…they assemble and
transform into whole phrases, lives or worlds. “Goodbye.” “Sorry.” “Friend.”
“Beginning.” “Loss.” So I reiterate my question, “What do words mean to you?”
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  • Reply evelyn karungi October 9, 2012 at 7:50 pm

    I absolutely love this one..I don't know how we haven't met yet…I'd la la loove to pick at your insanely amazing brain…

  • Reply Nora Kirabo October 14, 2012 at 4:47 pm

    We should definitely do that 🙂

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