Self Image

Conversations with Myself.

Progress
is a slow process. I know I am destined for greatness. That is not a falsity.
What is, is the ignorant belief that it can come over night. I keep saying I’ll
work at it. But truth be told; I never do. I know the steps to take to get my
life on track so I blog about it…but I never do anything about it. I am the
queen of nothing. I cannot sit back and wait for things to happen; I must make
the world that I dream of. I must create the society that will uphold
individuality and honesty. I keep waiting…as we all do, really; we are set
apart. We are beings that do not fit in only because the world we SHOULD exist
in does not exist YET! So we wait…but the wait is eternal. So I have grown
tired of waiting. I have grown tired of a system that chooses to determine my
abilities on norms that I am simply not made for. They call it arrogance…but
that’s not it. I am not alone in my endeavours (a simple truth that keeps me
going!)
I
have been proclaiming the need for change but in reality, I had failed to
implement it. Here is the hard truth; the old me is dead! I tried to go down
memory lane and save the bits that were worthy of this “new world” I hoped to
create. But she is not strong enough. I hate to call the good in me weak, but
it has no place in this world. I am good. I know that, I do not need validation
from people that have pushed me away because I am “different.” Different is
good. I am afraid of so many things; the unfamiliar, but I can no longer be
afraid of who I AM! I am conscious of the good that is within but I cannot
continue this sheep mentality. The sheep mentality, you see, is the constant
need to be a victim…hoping someone will rescue you before the wolves have their
go at you. Life is already hard enough…we are victims even when we consciously
try to evade it. Why make it easy for life to screw you over? Fight…even when
it seems so foreign to you; abandon all familiarity and find strength to create
your own salvation!

I
was talking to a friend that greatly inspires me and I was drowning her in so
much praise. I expected her to modestly brush it off but she said, “We learn
from each other, that is why we are here; to remind each other of what we are
capable of.” You see, she reminds me that I am indeed capable of greatness. But
I am also careful to note that some people will exist in your life to cause you
so much pain that you realise how strong you are.

“The tiny seed knew that in order to
grow, it needed to be dropped in dirt, covered in darkness, and struggle to
reach the light.”

Today’s
epiphany is that my inadequacy only exists because I have foolishly ignored
life’s lessons. I have failed to grow because I have ignored the necessary
tools that life has offered. Well not really “offered.” The reality is life
screws you. Every man alive will attest to this. We must learn from the hard
times. They are here to mould us into better beings. It is in our nature to be
weak; we are after all human. But it is also in our nature to fight this
weakness; we are divine, essentially! 
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