A Semblance of Sanity.

are not my words. They are void of emotion and jam-packed with nothingness. Am I
a free spirit now? Have I surpassed the world of laws and boundaries? To be
broken by rules and never to break them. My soul is bare before the world; I am
vulnerable.  Waiting to be moved. To feel…like
before. Well not like before; now I exercise caution. But do I really? If I did,
would I be naked in your arms waiting for the light bulb to come on. Waiting;
forever waiting. Opportunity is knocking at my door but there’s no one home. Not
really. I am physically here but the whereabouts of my mind remain a mystery to
me…perhaps I extended my visit in the abyss. And that right there raises a
question…must vacuums be filled? For in this moment that is my soul. The
connection to the past is lost. The hopes of tomorrow are hazy. There is good
to submerge my soul in yet I am drawn to darkness. If only it was darkness I was
conscious of. To have “just cause” I could whisper to my inner being as I caressed
the first nods of slumber. But there is none. And since there is none, shouldn’t
I be a victim of the cold brutal hands of insomnia? After all “there is no rest
for the wicked”…but it isn’t so now. I effortlessly muster sleep. My subconscious
remains silent in the onset of a war. A war for my soul, for peace of mind, for
happiness…perhaps for the innocence I have lost and somewhat sacrificed to the
world. There is no clarity here but I see a war soon to be waged. I must fight
to stop this or at least take a stand, right? Nothing…I know nothing and I can
do nothing. Chaos reigns, for order must be created. I must resuscitate my
world, my soul and most of all my heart. I must feel again. Must? Not really,
but I need purpose to my existence. A wandering soul is incapable of art…and of
maintaining a grasp on things that matter; loved ones, the nitty gritty bits of
reality, and of course; of sanity!

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